Kenn Nesbitt is an American children’s poet.
On June 11th, 2013 he was named Children’s Poet Laureate by the Poetry Foundation of USA.
He is a writer of humorous poetry for children, including the books My Hippo Has the Hiccups and Revenge of the Lunch Ladies. His poems appear in numerous anthologies of humorous children’s poetry. Nesbitt’s writing often includes imagery of outrageous happenings, before ending on a realistic note. Being children’s poems, many make fun of school and home life. Here are some poetry samples from this fantastic children’s author! Check out www.poetry4kids.com.
My Doggy Likes To Disco Dance
My doggy likes to disco dance.
He boogies every night.
He dances in his doghouse
till the early morning light.
The other dogs come running
when they hear my doggy swing.
A few will play their instruments.
The others dance and sing.
They pair off with their partners
as their tails begin to wag.
They love to do the bunny hop,
the fox trot and the shag.
You’ll see the doghouse rockin’
as a hundred dogs or more
all trip the light fantastic
on the doghouse disco floor.
At last, at dawn, they exit
in the early morning breeze,
and stop to sniff the fire hydrants,
bushes, lawns and trees.
I just don’t understand it
for although it looks like fun.
I can’t see how they fit inside
that doghouse built for one.
The Teachers Jumped Out of the Windows.
The teachers jumped out of the windows.
The principal ran for the door.
The nurse and librarian bolted.
They’re not coming back anymore.
The counselor, hollering madly,
escaped out the door of the gym.
The coach and custodian shouted
and ran out the door after him.
The lunch ladies threw up their ladles,
then fled from the kitchen in haste,
while all of the students looked puzzled
as staff members scurried and raced.
We’d never seen anything like it.
But, still, it was pretty darned cool
to see all the staff so excited
to leave on the last day of school.
The Marvelous Homework & Housework Machine Attention all students! Attention all kids! Hold onto your horses! Hold onto your lids! We have just exactly the thing that you need whenever you’ve way too much homework to read. The Marvelous Homework & Housework Machine will always make sure that your bedroom is clean. It loves to write book reports ten pages long, then put all your toys away where they belong. This wonderful gadget will do all your math, then mop up your messes and go take your bath. The Marvelous Homework & Housework Machine is truly like no other gizmo you’ve seen. It hangs up your clothes on their hangers and hooks, then reads all your boring geography books. It brings you a pillow to give you a rest, then brushes your teeth and prepares for your test. This thing is amazing. I’m sure you’ll agree. It feeds you dessert while you’re watching T.V. There’s only one thing this device will not do. It won’t eat your Brussels sprouts; they’re, like, P.U.
My Puppy Ate My Earbuds
My puppy ate my earbuds.
My puppy ate my socks.
My puppy chewed my tennis shoes
and all my Lego blocks.
He gnawed upon my iPod
as if it were a bone.
He nibbled my Nintendo Wii
and munched my mobile phone.
He grazed upon my skateboard,
consumed my catcher’s mitts,
and chomped my chess and checkers sets
to tiny little bits.
He polished off my pillow,
my blanket, and my sheet.
My homework seems to be the
only thing he will not eat.
Wayne The Stegosaurus
Meet the stegosaurus, Wayne.
He doesn’t have the biggest brain.
He’s long and heavy, wide and tall,
but has a brain that’s extra small.
He’s not the brightest dinosaur.
He thinks that one plus one is four.
He can’t remember up from down.
He thinks the sky is chocolate brown.
He wears his bow tie on his tail
and likes to eat the daily mail.
When playing hide-and-seek he tries
to hide by covering his eyes.
He thinks that black is really white.
He’s sure the sun comes out at night.
He thinks that water grows on trees
and when it’s hot he starts to freeze.
He’s happy when he’s feeling ill.
He likes to dance by standing still.
And when it’s time to go to bed,
he puts bananas on his head.
He thinks his name is Bob, not Wayne,
but that’s what happens when your brain
(although you’re big and brave and spiny)
is very, very, very tiny.
My Mouse is Misbehaving
My mouse is misbehaving
and my keyboard’s on the fritz.
The computer’s not computing,
but is dropping bytes and bits.
The hard drive’s click-click-clicking
and the printer’s spitting ink.
The CD’s started stuttering.
The screen is on the blink.
The memory is failing.
Things are grinding to a halt.
And, even worse, I realize
it’s probably my fault.
I thought it would be funny.
It was really just a joke.
I never thought the whole computer
might go up in smoke.
I guess I learned my lesson:
When it comes to your PCs,
it’s best if you don’t ever try
to feed the mouse some cheese.
